Thursday, June 5, 2014

KNOW THE ENEMY: Inside the Notorious C.A.P. Questionnaire

Hey sports fans,
Welcome to today’s edition of my favorite full-contact sport: culture war via electoral politics.
It's questionnaire season and the rightwing think tank, Center for Arizona Policy's, questionnaire is known far and wide as the liberals’ 3rd rail of politics. Designed and framed make Tea Party theocrats look good and everyone else look bad, "it'll kill ya if ya touch it!"
At least that's what progressives are generally told. Timid consultants typically warn if a progressive tries to answer, CAP'll twist every answer to make them look as vile as possible, usually through distortion and cherry picking answers. So, I figured, 'why make 'em cherry pick?' & tried to guarantee every answer would curl their hair.

Most progressives or liberals haven’t ever had a peek into the actual mechanics of rightwing propaganda. & even fewer of us get an opportunity to know that the smartass retorts we always like to think up ever have a chance to be received by those they’ll most annoy. The specific structure of the questionnaire also added the extra poet-intriguing constriction of requiring all answers be 25 words or less, turning each reply into a pithy practice in Twitter-age long-form haiku. Or something like it.
Here are their questions and my answers.
Why are you running?
The religious right-wing are destroying our country and someone needs to devote themselves full-time to dismantling the power of the GOP and groups like CAP.
RATE these topics: support, oppose, decline to answer:
Repealing the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. 
Greedy corporations, irresponsible think tanks and heartless doctors have attacked American patients for too long. Attacks on the ACA have to be stopped.
Providing Federal funding to Planned Parenthood and other organizations that provide abortions.
Planned Parenthood is our most important women's health organization and its opponents create havoc and misery. Groups like CAP must stop trying to control vaginas.
Arizona’s voter-approved constitutional definition of marriage should be defended to the fullest extent legally possible
As a voter, I disapproved of that piece of anti-American injustice and will work to dismantle it.
Protecting individuals and businesses from being required to provide services or use their artistic expression in a manner that violates their moral or religious beliefs.
There are all the protections in place necessary for bigots who value ideology over commerce. Let them be left behind. America doesn't want them.
Amending the U.S. Constitution to require Congress to balance the federal budget every year.
What a waste of energy! Our government has purposes to serve that transcend petty propaganda. Folks who want this understand neither government or humanity.
Raising the federal minimum wage.
I oppose greedy bosses who want to treat workers like slaves and sham think tanks that shill for American poverty in trade for campaign donations.
Prohibiting abortion except where it is necessary to prevent the death of the mother.
I resent your religious values framing the question and note your opposition to women's rights. Why should you guys dictate people's reproductive rights?
Adding “sexual orientation,” “gender identity,” or “gender expression” to the protected classes of race, religion, age, sex, and ancestry in antidiscrimination law.
Considering hate-based, profit driven organizations like CAP we need these protections for our citizens against hate-groups’ predatory and deceptive nature.
Allowing all parents to use tax credits, vouchers, or educational savings accounts to enable children to attend any public, charter, private, homeschool, or online academy.
CAP and other rightwing anti-American groups keep trying to dismantle public education and promote theocracy. This traitorous attack on American education ought to be criminalized.
Legalizing marijuana for recreational use
I am the legislative liaison for Safer AZ, the organization working to end cannabis prohibition in AZ and challenge CAP endorsement of a prison-industrial complex.
Building the Keystone Pipeline.
The Keystone pipeline is an environmentally destructive, profit-driven, insufficient stalling technique when it comes to addressing our energy future. America must transition past petroleum.
Using human embryonic stem cells for research purposes.
I oppose anti-scientific repressive theocracy dictating public policy, medical technique and scientific progress. If Luddites want to live that way, sure, but not make policy.
Congress should consider the selective removal of the jurisdiction of the Federal Courts when they fail to observe the separation of powers.
Is this a joke question? A test to see if I'm attentive? If Congress did that THEY would be failing to observe separation of powers.
Changes to the World Wide Web that would make pornography available online only as an "opt-in" service.
Again w theocracy? Your most laughable suggestion so far. Besides the enormous impracticality of implementation, the immense popularity of porn shows how wrongheaded this is.
Amending the federal Indian Gaming Regulatory Act to place further restrictions on the establishment and expansion of gambling by Indian tribes in the United States
Theocratic condescension + repressive business regulation to stifle competition of an already oppressed severely disadvantaged minority. Sounds like you guys.

For more fun battling the right in general and CAP in particular, the Mikel Weisser for US Congress campaign encourages activist-readers to support and/or join AZ’s premier CAP-bashers: Citizens for a Better Arizona.

Led by Randy Parraz, one of AZ’s premier progressive activists, and some of AZ’s most dynamic progressives such as Chad Snow, Paul Casteneda, Carolyn Cooper & Fred Barlam, Citizens for a Better AZ is a “a 501 C 4 nonpartisan organization committed to improving the lives of all Arizonans.” CBA challenges the Right on a variety of issues including immigration, education, & civil and voter rights. As you could imagine this battle pits CBA against CAP on a recurring basis.
THX for all your time and effort, CBA, glad to join the fight!
To join in the fight & the fun yourself against CAP, contact Citizens for a Better AZ here.
To join my fight & create your own campaign against the Right, contact me here.

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